Parallel Parking

At this very moment, millions of unfortunate parallel parkers are backing up, pulling forward, jerking the wheel in random directions, smiling apologetically at passersby, never getting any closer to the curb.

When I find myself in the passenger seat during one of these incidents, I like to explain my handy dandy parallel parking principle. The principle is handy dandy because explaining it gives me something to do while the driver, ignoring me, gives up and looks for another spot.

Secretly, though, I’ve always felt my principle had the potential to help someone park where they never thought it possible. So here it is:

Be parallel to the curb when you change direction.

Why does it work? Here’s one way to think about it: the standard method—the one you learn in driver’s ed—asks you to start parallel, reverse once, and end parallel. In tight spaces, the standard method will only get you partway to the curb. But if you repeat the standard method in alternating directions—as the principle leads you to do—eventually you’ll get there.

(Disclaimer: the principle is approximate. Following it is neither sufficient nor necessary for an optimal park. But it will save you from thrashing—which is, of all parking pitfalls, probably the most shameful and demoralizing.)